There Was Trouble Brewing One Morning...

Linda:  Oh rats, the coffee maker's gone phhht!  Look, it stopped right in the middle of a brew, and I can't make it go again.
Tony: Make some instant.
Linda:  I hate instant....

Later that day -

Linda:  There's good news and bad news.  The coffee maker is still under warranty, and the manufacturer will send us a new one.
Tony:  Great, when?
Linda: As soon as we take the old one to our nearest service centre.
Tony:  Okay, where's that?
Linda: That's the bad news. Park Holme.
Tony:  WHAT!!!???  That's miles away!
Linda:  I checked on Google Maps, and it'll only take 55 minutes to drive there, in perfect traffic conditions with all green lights and no roadworks.
Tony:  Grrrrrrrr
Linda:  Or we could mail it to them, which would cost $17.40, and we don't have a box to put it in.
Tony: Let's just buy a new one!  They only cost 40 bucks.
Linda:  No way.  It's under warranty, we're getting a free one.

So we went to Park Holme, stopping along the way to pick up the junk mail from our post box.  As we had to go down the freeway and through the dreaded tunnel, Linda was driving.

Linda:  What's the matter with this guy?  Why is he so slow?
Tony:  We're going down a steep hill, it's raining, and he's an old guy.  He's nervous.
Linda:  So what - the speed limit is 100!  He's only doing 70!  Why doesn't he move into the slow lane and let me go past?  Grrrrrr
Tony:  Calm down, dearest.

Later, in the suburbs of Adelaide -

Linda: Oh god, not more roadwork!  Everywhere we go, they're ripping the streets up! Grrrrrr
Tony:  It's all right, calm down...
Linda: Another red light!!!  I've never seen so many traffic lights in my whole life!  And every one of them is red! GRRRRRR
Tony:  Stop growling!  You're doing my head in! Grrrrrr

By the time we found the service centre, having nearly run into the back of a bus, Tony's head was well and truly done in, and Linda was feeling dizzy from being in a car for so long.  But there was a cheery lady behind the counter on which Tony plonked the offending coffee maker with a crash.

Lady:  Hello, what can I do for you, sir?
Tony:  We came all the way from Kanmantoo just to give you this stupid coffee maker!
Lady: Oh well, it's a nice day for a drive...
Tony:  No it isn't.  It's raining!
Lady:  Oh well, the rain keeps things growing...
Tony: Exactly!  My lawn needs mowing!  But how can I mow it, when it's raining all the time?  Tell me that!  Grrrr

At that point, dizzy Linda had to intervene before some damage was done.  After the business was taken care of, we drove to a nearby hotel for a drink and something to eat.  There was a cheery waitress there.

Waitress: Hello folks, have you come for a meal?  Would you like to see the Seniors Menu?
Tony:  What makes you think we're Seniors!!???  Grrrrr
Waitress:  Ummmm....

After a beer, Tony was feeling better.

Tony:  You know, you look a lot like that lady detective on the ABC.
Waitress:  Everybody tells me that, but I don't know who they're talking about.
Linda:  I think he means Miss Fisher.
Waitress:  Never heard of her.
Tony:  Give us your email address and we'll send you a picture of her.  You look just like her!

So the waitress did give us her email address, which led to a whispered conversation -

The picture of Miss Fisher that we're not sending to the waitress

Linda:  She doesn't look like Miss Fisher - it's just her hair that's sort of similar.
Tony:  Yeh, I know.  Miss Fisher is much better looking, and a lot younger.
Linda:  Are you sure you want to enter into an email relationship with someone who doesn't look like Miss Fisher and obviously doesn't watch the ABC?  She's not exactly PLU.
Tony:  And when she sees the picture, she'll know she doesn't look like Miss Fisher, and she'll think we're a couple of idiots.  Hmmmmm....

Then for no reason known to man, Linda suddenly wondered where Tony's keys were. She thought he'd left them in the car, and went looking for them, but they weren't there, so a search ensued of everybody's pockets and handbags.  No keys.  Then Tony remembered where they were.

Tony:  I left them hanging from the keyhole in the post office box when I got the mail.
Linda:  WHAT!?
Tony:  It's all right, somebody will have found them and handed them in at the post office.  We'll pick them up on the way home.  Hey look, there's mirrors all over the ceiling!  Let's take a picture!

Tony takes a picture in the mirror while Linda prays that they keys will be found

Later, after Tony had been into the post office and been told that no keys had been handed in, and neither were they hanging from the keyhole, a thorough search of the car was undertaken while parked in the main street of Nairne.  No keys.  By the time we got home seven minutes later, Linda had developed a whole horrible scenario.

Linda:  Some dastardly person has taken our keys.
Tony:  But why?  What's the point?  Nobody knows whose keys they are are, or what they open...
Linda:  They know which post box they fit, so first they'll steal our mail and find out our name, then they'll figure out where we live.  Then they'll case the joint and wait for us to go out, and they'll come in the house and steal everything we own, with a moving van, and they'll take whichever car we aren't driving too, and they'll probably rustle our sheep while they're at it!  And our insurance won't pay for anything, because it won't be a break-in! We have to change all the locks on the house and the garage!  Can you get new locks for cars?  We'll have to see about that.  And those fancy-schmancy electronic car keys cost a fortune! And you're going to have to pay for all the new locks and keys, because it's all your fault!  Grrrrrr
Tony:  It's not my fault!  If it wasn't for the damned coffee maker I wouldn't have been at the post office and I wouldn't have lost the keys!  Can we sue somebody?

Later in the day, while poor Tony was counting his meagre pocket money and wondering how he was going to afford all those locks and keys, Linda made some soup and invited Tony to sit down and eat.  When he dipped a spoon into his soup, it 'clanked' against something in the bowl, and he fished the foreign object out.

Tony:  The keys!!! How did they get in my soup?!!!
Linda: They were in the hidden depths of your man-bag the whole time!  I know you searched in there twice, but after all, you are only a man, and it's a well known phenomewhatsit that men can't find anything.
Tony:  Aw shucks!  I love you!
Linda: Sure, honey.