Cabinet Member Dreams of 21st Century

The Choppergate scandal (which, if you haven't been keeping up with Australian news, resulted in the overspending Bronny being prised out of her comfy Speaker's chair with a crowbar) has now led to serious thoughts about whether or not our politicians should be a little more responsible and accountable for their travel expenses.  Some say they should be made to report their expenses 'in real time' rather than whenever they might happen to remember to get around to it or maybe never.

Bronny sees the crowbar coming....

Helpful Malcolm, the Communications Minister, is all for quick reporting.  He says:

“There should be a 21st century way. I should be logging my expenses on my iPhone so they’re uploaded – through the NBN, I might add – immediately into the Department of Finance database rather than filling in paper forms as though we were still somewhere in the last century.”

The nation went into shock on hearing this statement, wondering if this could mean that Malcolm has stoppped demolishing the NBN, and actually intends to make it work!   Perhaps he read this report: AUSTRALIAN-INTERNET-SPEEDS-RANK-44th-IN-THE-WORLD and felt that no more demolishing is needed.

Sadly, further enquiries revealed that when Malcolm made the statement, he had just been awakened from a vivid dream about an all-expenses-paid-by-the-taxpayer trip to South Korea, where they have broadband speeds infinitely faster than ours.  And really fast trains too.  If only we had some of those trains, Bronny might not have had to charter a helicopter, and all the other politicians wouldn't now be madly running around shredding evidence of their own lavish expenses.

In any case, the Primeval Misanthrope, sorry, we meant to say the Prime Minister, doesn't believe in the 21st century or anything that might be labelled 'modern technology' or 'renewable energy', and forbids his ministers to talk about anything that doesn't have something to do with coal.  Consequently, Malcom has been slapped on the Rolex.