Embarrassed Texan Forgets
to bring Wife to Australia
Mike, a Texan on his way to Australia, was heard to mutter 'uh oh' by the people sitting near him on the plane, when he realised that he had left his wife Darlene, a celebrity on the cross stitch circuit, at home. As the plane was about to land in Sydney, there was little he could do except invent a story to explain why she didn't accompany him on the trip which all her friends knew she was so looking forward to.
The story he came up with was all about Darlene's ears. 'They refuse to pop - they're completely popless,' he explained, 'so she can't get on an airplane.' According to the story, seventeen ear nose and throat specialists had been coaching Darlene for ten days, to get her to grasp her nose firmly with thumb and forefinger and honk loudly, to force her ears to pop. Unfortunately, although she eventually honked loud enough to frighten old ladies in their back yards and cause a spate of barking dogs, her ears stubbornly refused to pop.
While all of Darlene's Australian friends were terribly disappointed that she missed the trip, they had to agree that one Texan was better than no Texans at all, so they threw a party for Mike, and a jolly time was had by all. Musical entertainment was provided by the Sawpit Gully Ramblers, catering by the Winsome Ridge Cafe, and performing chickens, sheep and kangaroos appeared courtesy of Winsome Ridge Enterprises.
to bring Wife to Australia
Mike, a Texan on his way to Australia, was heard to mutter 'uh oh' by the people sitting near him on the plane, when he realised that he had left his wife Darlene, a celebrity on the cross stitch circuit, at home. As the plane was about to land in Sydney, there was little he could do except invent a story to explain why she didn't accompany him on the trip which all her friends knew she was so looking forward to.
The story he came up with was all about Darlene's ears. 'They refuse to pop - they're completely popless,' he explained, 'so she can't get on an airplane.' According to the story, seventeen ear nose and throat specialists had been coaching Darlene for ten days, to get her to grasp her nose firmly with thumb and forefinger and honk loudly, to force her ears to pop. Unfortunately, although she eventually honked loud enough to frighten old ladies in their back yards and cause a spate of barking dogs, her ears stubbornly refused to pop.
While all of Darlene's Australian friends were terribly disappointed that she missed the trip, they had to agree that one Texan was better than no Texans at all, so they threw a party for Mike, and a jolly time was had by all. Musical entertainment was provided by the Sawpit Gully Ramblers, catering by the Winsome Ridge Cafe, and performing chickens, sheep and kangaroos appeared courtesy of Winsome Ridge Enterprises.
 |  To prevent Tony from attempting to sing with the Ramblers, we quickly shoved a saxophone in his mouth. |
The chooks prepare for their 'Three Birds in a Bucket' comedy act.
| 
Oscar and Humphrey's 'Who's on First' routine
was a big favourite with the crowd. |
 |
| Hamish the performing kangaroo relaxes between skydiving demonstrations. |
 |
| Little did we know that Mike is a ventriloquist - but since he didn't have his dummy on hand, Monica volunteered to help out. |
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