"I've been Rumbled!" House Speaker Caught with Both Hands in Till

The Speaker of Australia’s Parliament, Bronwyn ‘Heil’ Bishop is in deep doo-doo, having spent over $5000 of taxpayers’ money to charter a helicopter for an 80km trip to a golf course.  But let’s be fair, she didn’t go there to play golf – it was to speak at a fundraiser for her political party.  “Well that’s all right then, isn’t it?“ she asked innocently.  “It’s not like I claimed expenses for riding in a bicycle race, like the Prime Minister does all the time – oops, I wasn’t supposed to say that…”   When asked about the validity of the other $800,000 worth of travel and office expenses she claimed last year, Bronny just shrugged and said “Oh well, I never was much good at arithmetic.”  Despite indignant rants from the Opposition and the public in general, the alleged Prime Minister, Captain Disaster, refuses to sack Mrs Bishop, saying that “she’s doing a good job”.  But we all know the truth is that he’s desperately afraid of her.  And who wouldn’t be?

A Jolly Olde Blast from the Past

The lovely Jane thrills the crowd
with her grenade throwing act

Remember this one?  First published December 2000

Tin Fish Wows Crowd at Local Pub ... Critics Rave

The small hills town of Verdun was abuzz with excitement on the night of Tin Fish’s first ever pub gig. Locals came from miles around, some even from across the street, to hear Tony and his friends play cool jazz and bossa nova.

A large family group who came for dinner were so impressed, they couldn’t stay for dessert. Several delighted fans stayed right to the end, because they needed a lift home with the bass player. 

The superb combo, finely enhanced by the smooth vocals of the lovely Jane, were enjoyed by all, especially those who had too much to drink. 

Con concentrates while Endre meditates; Stephen falls asleep waiting for Tony to finish a saxophone solo; Tony's eyes glaze over as he thinks of breakfast.

The sensational evening was marred only by a noisy dispute between the publican and an indignant lady who refused to come out of the toilet during a particularly moving saxophone solo. All in all, it was a huge success, and the publican urged the band members to come back any time, preferably for a drink, and enthused that they were the best country western band who ever played in his pub for free.

Seductive Piano Lures Bumpkins from Boring Museum

In Adelaide recently, we went for a bite to eat at a café that sells mostly edible food.  After ordering, they gave us a strange thing that looked like a mini space ship, which started flashing red lights and beeping uproariously a little later – this meant our order was ready, and we’d better hurry up and go get it before it gets cold. This saves the café the cost of a waiter, but it doesn’t make the food any cheaper.