A Jolly Olde Blast from the Past

In April 2001, we had a sheep rustling problem...

Sheep Rustlers Caught in the Act

A gang of dreadful amateurs were caught on camera rustling a particularly stupid sheep from a property near Winsome Ridge.  The leader of the gang, Roly the Dog, was the only one with any idea of how to rustle a sheep, and without his expertise the whole operation would have been a complete shambles.

Staff Photographer Cynthia Bodice managed to get a few shots of the culprits from her hiding place under their ttruck before she was run over and airlifted to hospital.  The gang remains at large.

A Jolly Olde Blast from the Past

April 2001, when only one Texan came to visit us...
 

Embarrassed Texan Forgets
to bring Wife to Australia

Mike, a Texan on his way to Australia, was heard to mutter 'uh oh' by the people sitting near him on the plane, when he realised that he had left his wife Darlene, a celebrity on the cross stitch circuit, at home.  As the plane was about to land in Sydney, there was little he could do except invent a story to explain why she didn't accompany him on the trip which all her friends knew she was so looking forward to.

The story he came up with was all about Darlene's ears.  'They refuse to pop - they're completely popless,' he explained, 'so she can't get on an airplane.'  According to the story, seventeen ear nose and throat specialists had been coaching Darlene for ten days, to get her to grasp her nose firmly with thumb and forefinger and honk loudly, to force her ears to pop.  Unfortunately, although she eventually honked loud enough to frighten old ladies in their back yards and cause a spate of barking dogs, her ears stubbornly refused to pop.
 
While all of Darlene's Australian friends were terribly disappointed that she missed the trip, they had to agree that one Texan was better than no Texans at all, so they threw a party for Mike, and a jolly time was had by all.  Musical entertainment was provided by the Sawpit Gully Ramblers, catering by the Winsome Ridge Cafe, and performing chickens, sheep and kangaroos appeared courtesy of Winsome Ridge Enterprises.

To prevent Tony from attempting to sing with the Ramblers, we quickly shoved a saxophone in his mouth.

The chooks prepare for their 'Three Birds in a Bucket' comedy act.

Oscar and Humphrey's 'Who's on First' routine was a big favourite with the crowd.

Hamish the performing kangaroo relaxes between skydiving demonstrations.

Little did we know that Mike is a ventriloquist -
but since he didn't have his dummy on hand, Monica volunteered to help out.

A Jolly Olde Blast from the Past

 Another old favourite, first published in 2000, when we had three chickens called Hilary, Monica and Victoria:

University Graduates Outsmarted by
Illiterate Chicken

All hell broke loose at Winsome Ridge recently, when Hilary the chicken went broody and decided to match wits with Linda (BA) and Tony (BA (Hons), BSocAdmin, PhD).

Tony and Linda thought it was easy to cure a chook of broodiness – just lock her in a cage for a day or two, and she’ll get over it. But when Hilary went broody, an incredible battle of wits and wills ensued, with the feisty chicken being the eventual winner.

‘The cage hasn’t been built that can hold our Hilary’, Tony said. ‘We tried using chicken wire first, but she just ripped it out with her teeth, so we put her in the cat-carrier, but she picked the lock with a hairpin. Then we nailed her inside an apple box, but later we heard a strange noise, and found that somehow she’d got hold of a blowtorch and was burning her way out. Our only option then was to cuff her and take her down to the local jail. The cops said they could hold her, but that same night she was sprung by a gang of hooligan chooks who overpowered the guard dog. We think they made their getaway in a stolen helicopter. I’ve never seen anything like it.’ 

At last report, Hilary was sitting on the nest, brooding.

Old Tone has Still Got it

Some jazz groupies just never go away, even when we wish they would.  We were blissfully unaware that poor Zena (not her real name) has been hanging around pining for Tony since the Stanley Bridge gig so long ago.  She's been in touch again, to remind Tony of her undying love, or lust, or whatever it is:

Hey Man!

What a blast from the past I mean the Tin Fishes.  I remember that night well.  I wrote this 'E'  below about a hundred years ago, why didn't your arrange a meet? Shit you must be very old now, but the offer's still there, dude, there's many a hot tune played on an old horn. Is your old lady still around?

Here's what I said before:

'I have just looked at your story on Tin Fish on your real cool webby. I was lucky enough to see the band recently at the Stanley Bridge hotel, as I had nothing to do and that. I thought that the sax player was dishy and extremely cool for his age. I have always been attracted to older men, well let's be frank old men, and his belly really turns me on its real cool. The sound of the sax really turns me gooey and Tone's ethereal chords really set my hormones racing. Is there any way that I could meet Tone and talk about the raptures of love and romance and that, and does he like the weed. Is he married, not that that matters. Hey man we live in a free world and I can be accommodating with his old lady. Please put me out of my misery by arranging a meet quickly.'

With rapid heart beats

Zena (I had to change my name with the Feds sniffing around and that)

Well who can blame her?  Tony is still so ultracool!

A Jolly Olde Blast from the Past

The lovely Jane thrills the crowd
with her grenade throwing act

Remember this one?  First published December 2000

Tin Fish Wows Crowd at Local Pub ... Critics Rave

The small hills town of Verdun was abuzz with excitement on the night of Tin Fish’s first ever pub gig. Locals came from miles around, some even from across the street, to hear Tony and his friends play cool jazz and bossa nova.

A large family group who came for dinner were so impressed, they couldn’t stay for dessert. Several delighted fans stayed right to the end, because they needed a lift home with the bass player. 

The superb combo, finely enhanced by the smooth vocals of the lovely Jane, were enjoyed by all, especially those who had too much to drink. 

Con concentrates while Endre meditates; Stephen falls asleep waiting for Tony to finish a saxophone solo; Tony's eyes glaze over as he thinks of breakfast.

The sensational evening was marred only by a noisy dispute between the publican and an indignant lady who refused to come out of the toilet during a particularly moving saxophone solo. All in all, it was a huge success, and the publican urged the band members to come back any time, preferably for a drink, and enthused that they were the best country western band who ever played in his pub for free.